Top 10 Excuses Made by Programmers

Good programmer's never re-invent the wheel, so even the excuses  when something doesn't work or get done are pretty much the same  across languages :) We have compiled the top 10 excuses you are likely to hear if you work with a programmer, the computer department or the tech support team.

10. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"  

9. "It must be a hardware problem."

8. "Somebody must have changed my code."

7. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"

6. "You must have the wrong version."  

5. "That's weird..."

4. "There must be something wrong with your data"

3. "It's never done that before."

2. "It worked yesterday."  

and the best one

1. "It works on my machine" 



So true...

So true...

I was going to write

I was going to write something nice, but then I noticed you have one of those 'special' websites that won't allow one to select and copy text. What's your excuse for that?

How many have we used?

I've used basically ALL of these excuses at my current workplace. You know why I use them? Partly because the 'excuse' is true (I can't expect to remember what a multi-thousand line module does after two or three months of not working it), and partly because they keep your boss/user/whoever off your back while you fix the real problem. That's basically the only reason I use these excuses. I need time to think and resolve the problem at hand, which can't be done effectively with someone pressuring you.

Few more:It happened

Few more:

It happened because of a change request (everything was fine before implementing that change request).

Caller is sending wrong input data.

That is how it was designed - not?!


Great list :)

User mostly wrong

But what is so funny? Every profession has a 'top 10 excuses'.

(Not to mention the programmer is right most of the times. As a user you still need some intelligence to use a computer. Like the boss complaining to me: I don't see the ads on our website. So I have to figure out what was wrong. Turned out he installed ad-blocker software on his computer).

Of course these are used...

... because they are less likely to get you fired than the 10 real excuses:

1. I don't give a f**k.

2. I couldn't be ar*ed.

3. That's weird, cause I know you're a moron and I'd like to get back to playing online poker.

4. I'm actually a strategically shaved monkey in a t-shirt and track pants who was hired to just sit here, why are you asking me?

5. You don't look intelligent enough to talk to me.

6. I never thought anyone would use the stuff.

7. You seem to think I care, I'm not listening but please continue.

8. I don't get paid enough to fix it.

9. Have you read the non-existent manual dumbass?

10. I still don't give a f**k.

Actually the top two excuses

Actually the top two excuses are:
"user error"
"It's not a bug, it's a feature".

It works on my system?

Should we say "it works on my system?" :)

Seriously, no excuses, because the site is not designed that way at all and frankly we think doing something like what you mention is "lame".

Try a different browser and meanwhile drop us a line with your browser version & operating platforms.. so that we can troubleshoot :)

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